Paradigm Shift

There are times in one's life when decisions need to be made, choices picked that will close old doors and open new ones.

One will never be the same after these kinds of decisions, but the outcome, and the way change affects us is up to the chooser.

Some people fall in love with someone, and when it doesn't work out, they become jaded, and sink to levels they never would have reached before. Some people hold on to 'the one that got away' and never try again.
Others realize that 'the one that got away' was just one, and resign themselves to finding a new 'one.'

I am at this point faced with a paradigm shift. I realize that the girl I fell in love with doesn't exist. At this point I have several options. I can continue looking for a girl that matches the description, or I can find within myself something else to look for. I can gather completely new information about what I want, and go from there. If I do this, there will not be a physical girl there living in the back of my mind as 'the one.' rather, my perspective will be widened and I will be set free to find a good girl.
There is no girl of my dreams, there is only the girl I will eventually marry, who will not fall into any physical category that I can put together in my mind.

I can leave this world behind and walk into the daylight, beginning a new journey as a new man. I have found myself, and I know what I'm capable of. Now is the time for me to find who I want to be, and become said person.

There are good things about me, but even those must be reforged. I must melt myself down completely, remove the dross, and be forged anew, perhaps as an alloy, perhaps as a more pure version of myself, with a new shape, a new perpose, a new life.