Another Day Another Blow Off
Larkin stood me up again. Big fucking surprise. I don't enjoy getting played with. If someone doesn't have enough respect for me to cancel whatever it is that we have planned, then we need to stop planning things.
Respect me or reap the consequences.
There is a problem. I'm not sure if she just doesn't have the guts to say 'No, I don't want to hang out with you any more' or if she doesn't have enough self-esteem to pick up the phone when i call her again.
and that's one of the major problems. Half the time, she just doesn't answer her phone. I could understand it if she was engaged or married, and chillin with me on the side, but she's not.
Hell, I don't know. She may have a boyfriend and just not pick up her phone when she's with him... but then again that's pure speculation.
She does work all the time...
but every now and again when we're supposed to do something she'll answer her phone AT work.
FuCk. I just wish I knew what was going on, so that I could be going on.
If she really likes me and wants to do stuff, then I don't want to just throw that in the wind, because I've wanted her for a while.
Yet, if she just doesn't have the self-confidence to tell me to leave her alone(which, and I'm as non-biased as i can be, doesn't seem to be the case, due to her repeated offers of barhopping, or something like it, and the fact that she kisses me as much as i've kissed her, and because of the way she talks to me on the phone), I want to know that, so as to leave her alone and not be a bother.
Now, this waiting thing, where every time i see her we make plans(and I of course make back up plans) has no effect on me whatsoever. If I meet a girl that I want to date, then I will, If there is something I'd rather do with the Guys than with Larkin, I will(though so far it hasn't been my choice but to do stuff with the guys).
I have never sat next to the phone waiting for her to call me back all night.
It's hard for me to get bored.
I don't know.
In conclusion, I need a clue.
Throw me a frickin' bone here. --Dr. Evil
A little help here? I'm drownin'. --Kacey Jones
Matt posted something on his blog that took me aback in several ways. One was due to the once-so-constantly-a-part-of-me-feeling-has-now-taken-a-back-seat deal.
He was talking about wanting female companionship, physical contact, and to be desired by a woman.
the other reson it took me aback was the fact that, I have gotten physical contact in the last couple of weeks, and the last time that happened was six months before.
I have a tendency to date a girl for a couple of months, and then have a resulting dry spell twice as long as we dated.
Anyway, the reason i was taken aback is that maybe i keep holding on to the hope that Larkin will step up to the plate in my favor because of the physical contact.
Yet to tell you the truth, if she decides to step up to the plate not in my favor, im cool, i just want to know whats going on.
but there is something about companionship, physical contact, and being desired by a woman that i need to say.
All in good time.
Except that I like to get ahead of myself. I look at my friends and see three of them married. I think to myself, I'm 23. I should be out of school, I should be on my way to getting married, and I should be in shape.
The problem is, at this point I should be, but I haven't done the work necessary to get to this point.
oh well, im starting now.
well, at least one of them. I'm working out with a new martial arts instructor, been walking two miles a day, and running at least one every three days, and actually lifted a couple of times in the last week. Tuesday and Friday.
new thread. I guess its that I've had a crush on Larkin for a long time, had the opportunity to actually do something about it lately, and had the inklings of her telling me she had a crush on me when we first met, and that we would make a great couple...
It almost seems too good to be true, except that it's not that good. It hasn't worked out but thrice in two months, and that's starting to get old.
But have I told you about her eyes?
Her pupils are solar eclipses, complete with a burning golden corona biting deep into a shining sapphire sky.
to tell you the truth, her eyes where what drew me in the first time, and every time i've seen them since, i feel that same pull. Her eyes are something out of a poorly written Dungeons and Dragons Elven adventure, except that they are real, and that makes them Awesome.
"He said a lot of things that made me think it was his car."
"Like what?"
"That's my fuckin car." --Wonder Boys
Respect me or reap the consequences.
There is a problem. I'm not sure if she just doesn't have the guts to say 'No, I don't want to hang out with you any more' or if she doesn't have enough self-esteem to pick up the phone when i call her again.
and that's one of the major problems. Half the time, she just doesn't answer her phone. I could understand it if she was engaged or married, and chillin with me on the side, but she's not.
Hell, I don't know. She may have a boyfriend and just not pick up her phone when she's with him... but then again that's pure speculation.
She does work all the time...
but every now and again when we're supposed to do something she'll answer her phone AT work.
FuCk. I just wish I knew what was going on, so that I could be going on.
If she really likes me and wants to do stuff, then I don't want to just throw that in the wind, because I've wanted her for a while.
Yet, if she just doesn't have the self-confidence to tell me to leave her alone(which, and I'm as non-biased as i can be, doesn't seem to be the case, due to her repeated offers of barhopping, or something like it, and the fact that she kisses me as much as i've kissed her, and because of the way she talks to me on the phone), I want to know that, so as to leave her alone and not be a bother.
Now, this waiting thing, where every time i see her we make plans(and I of course make back up plans) has no effect on me whatsoever. If I meet a girl that I want to date, then I will, If there is something I'd rather do with the Guys than with Larkin, I will(though so far it hasn't been my choice but to do stuff with the guys).
I have never sat next to the phone waiting for her to call me back all night.
It's hard for me to get bored.
I don't know.
In conclusion, I need a clue.
Throw me a frickin' bone here. --Dr. Evil
A little help here? I'm drownin'. --Kacey Jones
Matt posted something on his blog that took me aback in several ways. One was due to the once-so-constantly-a-part-of-me-feeling-has-now-taken-a-back-seat deal.
He was talking about wanting female companionship, physical contact, and to be desired by a woman.
the other reson it took me aback was the fact that, I have gotten physical contact in the last couple of weeks, and the last time that happened was six months before.
I have a tendency to date a girl for a couple of months, and then have a resulting dry spell twice as long as we dated.
Anyway, the reason i was taken aback is that maybe i keep holding on to the hope that Larkin will step up to the plate in my favor because of the physical contact.
Yet to tell you the truth, if she decides to step up to the plate not in my favor, im cool, i just want to know whats going on.
but there is something about companionship, physical contact, and being desired by a woman that i need to say.
All in good time.
Except that I like to get ahead of myself. I look at my friends and see three of them married. I think to myself, I'm 23. I should be out of school, I should be on my way to getting married, and I should be in shape.
The problem is, at this point I should be, but I haven't done the work necessary to get to this point.
oh well, im starting now.
well, at least one of them. I'm working out with a new martial arts instructor, been walking two miles a day, and running at least one every three days, and actually lifted a couple of times in the last week. Tuesday and Friday.
new thread. I guess its that I've had a crush on Larkin for a long time, had the opportunity to actually do something about it lately, and had the inklings of her telling me she had a crush on me when we first met, and that we would make a great couple...
It almost seems too good to be true, except that it's not that good. It hasn't worked out but thrice in two months, and that's starting to get old.
But have I told you about her eyes?
Her pupils are solar eclipses, complete with a burning golden corona biting deep into a shining sapphire sky.
to tell you the truth, her eyes where what drew me in the first time, and every time i've seen them since, i feel that same pull. Her eyes are something out of a poorly written Dungeons and Dragons Elven adventure, except that they are real, and that makes them Awesome.
"He said a lot of things that made me think it was his car."
"Like what?"
"That's my fuckin car." --Wonder Boys
posted by Hadrian: Dark One at 4:36 AM
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