Loving The Way I Throw Caution to the Wind

So I almost fucked Larkin tonight. All the shit that has been said previously aside...
I almost fucked Larkin tonight.

we got into a conversation that resulted in her asking me to come over and drink at her place. This almost happened. We were paying our tabs when her half boyfriend(this is the guy she's kinda trying to find a reason to break up with, due to all kinds of fucked up shite....) walks in and takes her away to have this Reasess the relationship talks, and ends up walking her home.

OH well. We talked the whole time about how we should date the next time we're both single..

I'ts funny how most people like to keep a contingency plan before they take risks. I sometimes wish i could go to a previous save if you will, but that's usually because I've stuck my neck out and gotten chopped, ending a mediocre thing without a good thing to replace it.

Oh, well.

I was thinking tonight that I have a HUGE standard that I hold others to, but fail to meet, or hell, even hold MYSELF to. I haven't changed much in the last three years. Some key things that affect decisions, but mostly, I am still the Cam that most of you know. I don't know if that means I've gotten to a position that I am closer to comfortable with, or if I've just become lazy as fuck.
If I'm coming closer to comfortable, does that mean I'm becoming complacent, or does that mean I'm giving up?

I don't think I'm giving up, but my perspective is tainted....
Tainted Love, that which spawns inside of me...