Butif youdon't love menow, youwill never love meagain...

...But I Still hear you say you willnever break the chain.
I LOVE that song. Silkworm's Break the Chain.

I had a hell of a time last night at pint night. Larkin wasn't going to show up, but she did. Karen, this realy pretty, intelligent, hot, funny girl was flirting with me, a girl I messed around with a couple of weeks ago was there too, and we were flirting, our server was one of my favorite people, because she doesn't throw her tits at you to get better tips, she uses her personality for that. Stormin' Norman was there as well.
Stormin' Norman is awesome. He's a forty five to fifty year old black man with a voice that everyone knows a mile away. He gives everyone names of famous people, because he'll forget your real name, but you'll never know that...
Our server's name was Jaime, but Norman(who by the way, is a LACEist{he doesn't like white laces} inside joke...) called her Selma, and there is a close resemblance to Selma Hyek, but this girl is cuter in a down-to-earth way...
Anyway, Norman started calling me Bruce Willis.
Larkin got lost in the fray, if you will. I look over in a lull, and she's been sitting there quietly drinking her beer...
so I try to engage her in conversation, because I hate for people to feel left out, but it was like talking to a box of flat rocks. she got lost in the fray again later when I started talking to all the cool people that come up to our table every week, or visiting other tables... or flirting with the girl that got me pregnant two weeks ago(inside joke...again, sorry). I didn't really see Larkin again until she was about to leave.
She asked me the same question she always does... 'what are you doing this weekend?'
To wich i give my normal reply, 'No clue, that's too far ahead.'
She then says 'I'm going tailgating saturday, if you want to come..."
"that sounds cool..."
A few minutes later she invites the whole table to go tailgating this weekend. Cool. that means she's getting more comfortable with the people.
It was kinda funny, I hardly payed attention to her at all.

I have decided to cut back on Nicotene hardcore. I am allowing myself three to four cigarettes a day, and eventually I will quit if i smoke that little. Today I didn't smoke until 1:00, and had a half cigarette at three thirty. Therefore, i get at least one and a half the rest of the day, maybe two and a half...
I realized last night that I haven't been depressed since I started smoking. Now this is cool, but I also haven't been hyper since then either. That's not cool.
It's almost like I have killed part of myself.
Studies show that niccotene works for ADD people(and I use ADD ONLY to represent people that ritalin calms down vs makes hyper and crash.) the same way ritalin does. Lots of things work differently on people with ADD. Marijiuana, Cigarettes, Ritalin. Those are the ones I know of, but there are more, I'm sure.
There are specific reasons why I don't like taking ritalin. It seems like its killing part of me, and it makes me depressed. Cigarettes seem to have done a better job of balancing me out, but at the same time, I don't want to be balanced all the time.