The Darkness Within
Well, for those of you out there who are tired of hearing about Larkin, this is something you'll like.
No more posts about her, no more thoughts, If she is as interested as she would have me believe on wednesdays, then it's her fault. If not, well, it's my fault.
There are other bullets in the ammo dump.
I don't even know why I'm so attracted to her. Maybe it has to do with the fact that she's an old crush. We all know those don't usually work out...
I thought about making her jealous, but that quickly passed. I just don't care any more. "I can't love you any more DUHDUHDUH DUUH."
we'll just ignore the fact that the song is really a love song, I'm scared of the sound of loving you more, but hey.
Realistically I probably fucked it up...
Regardless, it's time to move on.
No me gusta alguno otras mujeres. Esta es la problema.
I'm sure, though, that as soon as I find myself in a situation to meet people, like class, or even attending University functions, I will quickly relegate her to the background again.
I don't deal with things when they happen to me. I like to think that I don't bottle things up, but that's not true. Most of my life is bottled up, leaving me with a small portion of myself, like Morphius and his bag of sand, jewel, and helmet. I've segregated my personality to the point of mental impotence. The desires i have point to something bad in the past, and therefor I tamp them down so I don't have to deal with them.
I used to be actively afraid of the part of my mind I had walled off, thinking of all the bad things I said and did in the past, but now I know, to use a horrible Lucas-tastic reference, You can't have the light side without the dark. Once i dig deep enough to deal with these things that i have repressed, then I beleive i will be a much more whole person, and able to actually go on with my life.
In the meantime, Ill work on my novel and get it published, visit my family and shite like that.
On the topics brought up in the last post, these things are kinda fesable, but my tech level is much higher, and I'm not about to write a history of technology.
It is a fiction story that takes place in the future. World-building is absolutely necessary, but if i want proton guns and artificial gravity and antigravity and dimensional shift FTL, then fine. Obviously i need to make sure nothing is contradictory, but hey... that's what it's all about.
like some weapon tech has come from failed attempts at FTL or Antigravity or something like that. maybe there's a missile or slug that has limited antigravity on it, but the drive is faulty and will blow up after a certain amount of time running.
This isn't important...
but it is cool to hear, once in a while, somthing like that. Some know-it-all comes up and says, you know, the precurser to that device had these problems, and they spawned how we wash our clothes now, or did you know that the first try with X tech yeilded the PR97 gun that is standard issue? or space blankets or something cool, but not to bog it down.
No more posts about her, no more thoughts, If she is as interested as she would have me believe on wednesdays, then it's her fault. If not, well, it's my fault.
There are other bullets in the ammo dump.
I don't even know why I'm so attracted to her. Maybe it has to do with the fact that she's an old crush. We all know those don't usually work out...
I thought about making her jealous, but that quickly passed. I just don't care any more. "I can't love you any more DUHDUHDUH DUUH."
we'll just ignore the fact that the song is really a love song, I'm scared of the sound of loving you more, but hey.
Realistically I probably fucked it up...
Regardless, it's time to move on.
No me gusta alguno otras mujeres. Esta es la problema.
I'm sure, though, that as soon as I find myself in a situation to meet people, like class, or even attending University functions, I will quickly relegate her to the background again.
I don't deal with things when they happen to me. I like to think that I don't bottle things up, but that's not true. Most of my life is bottled up, leaving me with a small portion of myself, like Morphius and his bag of sand, jewel, and helmet. I've segregated my personality to the point of mental impotence. The desires i have point to something bad in the past, and therefor I tamp them down so I don't have to deal with them.
I used to be actively afraid of the part of my mind I had walled off, thinking of all the bad things I said and did in the past, but now I know, to use a horrible Lucas-tastic reference, You can't have the light side without the dark. Once i dig deep enough to deal with these things that i have repressed, then I beleive i will be a much more whole person, and able to actually go on with my life.
In the meantime, Ill work on my novel and get it published, visit my family and shite like that.
On the topics brought up in the last post, these things are kinda fesable, but my tech level is much higher, and I'm not about to write a history of technology.
It is a fiction story that takes place in the future. World-building is absolutely necessary, but if i want proton guns and artificial gravity and antigravity and dimensional shift FTL, then fine. Obviously i need to make sure nothing is contradictory, but hey... that's what it's all about.
like some weapon tech has come from failed attempts at FTL or Antigravity or something like that. maybe there's a missile or slug that has limited antigravity on it, but the drive is faulty and will blow up after a certain amount of time running.
This isn't important...
but it is cool to hear, once in a while, somthing like that. Some know-it-all comes up and says, you know, the precurser to that device had these problems, and they spawned how we wash our clothes now, or did you know that the first try with X tech yeilded the PR97 gun that is standard issue? or space blankets or something cool, but not to bog it down.
posted by Hadrian: Dark One at 3:12 PM
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