Falling Behind
It seems that I'm in the time of my life when engagements happen, people meet who they will be with for the rest of their lives, things start falling into place, and the next step becomes that little bit clearer.
Sara has been engaged twice. I only know the story behind the one, and it was the kind of thing that you see in a romance movie, except that the outcome was... less than desirable.
Larkin's been engaged at least once, if not twice. I don't know any details on those.
Liz is engaged, Traci has been, Jennifer is married, Carrie and Malloy are married, Tim's moving in with his girl, and thinking about poppin' the question, Dave is married, Chris Ellison is married, I wouldn't be surprised to find that Will and Amanda get married if their current situation fixes itself...
That's over half of the people I know. I've never asked a girl to marry me. I guess that's kinda healthy, inasmuch as I haven't found a girl that I love enough to ask... but it just seems to have crept up on me.
I feel that I'm falling behind in life, missing out on a great thing, watching the crowd pass me by.
Another thing that makes me feel this way is perhaps the desire inside of me to be married. I have enough of a rationale, both consciously and sub-consciously not to marry the wrong person, but the thought of walking into a bar and introducing a girl as my wife calls to me like a siren.
the new night fills my senses,
every glowing window yet another star
in the horizon,
smoke curling over my hand,
watching the night turn into day,
a girl
turn into a
woman.
bolted to the chair
unable to move
able to watch
unwilling to change
too willing to understand
the morning fog rolls over me
still in my chair
unwilling to change,
slowly unable to comprehend
for at least another twelve
hours,
I can live without pain
never claimed to be a poet, and why's obvious now :)
what I was meaning to say, was that I watch everyone grow and change, but I feel locked down. the new night represents those cunning moments of realization when the world comes into focus, letting you know exactly where you are, what you are doing, and how much you really don't know about people and society. and just as the dawn always comes slowly but inexorably, so does the return to normal awareness.
Sara has been engaged twice. I only know the story behind the one, and it was the kind of thing that you see in a romance movie, except that the outcome was... less than desirable.
Larkin's been engaged at least once, if not twice. I don't know any details on those.
Liz is engaged, Traci has been, Jennifer is married, Carrie and Malloy are married, Tim's moving in with his girl, and thinking about poppin' the question, Dave is married, Chris Ellison is married, I wouldn't be surprised to find that Will and Amanda get married if their current situation fixes itself...
That's over half of the people I know. I've never asked a girl to marry me. I guess that's kinda healthy, inasmuch as I haven't found a girl that I love enough to ask... but it just seems to have crept up on me.
I feel that I'm falling behind in life, missing out on a great thing, watching the crowd pass me by.
Another thing that makes me feel this way is perhaps the desire inside of me to be married. I have enough of a rationale, both consciously and sub-consciously not to marry the wrong person, but the thought of walking into a bar and introducing a girl as my wife calls to me like a siren.
the new night fills my senses,
every glowing window yet another star
in the horizon,
smoke curling over my hand,
watching the night turn into day,
a girl
turn into a
woman.
bolted to the chair
unable to move
able to watch
unwilling to change
too willing to understand
the morning fog rolls over me
still in my chair
unwilling to change,
slowly unable to comprehend
for at least another twelve
hours,
I can live without pain
never claimed to be a poet, and why's obvious now :)
what I was meaning to say, was that I watch everyone grow and change, but I feel locked down. the new night represents those cunning moments of realization when the world comes into focus, letting you know exactly where you are, what you are doing, and how much you really don't know about people and society. and just as the dawn always comes slowly but inexorably, so does the return to normal awareness.
posted by Hadrian: Dark One at 3:56 PM
1 Comments:
i can certainly relate. i've only been in two relationships, and i didn't enjoy the second at all. i've never popped the question to anyone, nor even gotten far enough along in a relationship to feel comfortable doing it. i also relate on the larger issue. so often i feel like my life is stagnat. like i'm doing a lot of work, a lot of actions, but little motion. i feel like a rocking chair. hang in there buddy. we'll get through this one too.
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